By Sandra Kovan
Deborah Tannen, linguist and author of the 1990 bestseller You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, discussed the role linguistics plays in the workplace during the fifth annual Policy Breakfast Seminar Series, Feb. 7, at the Harvard Club in New York City. Tannen's appearance was sponsored by Cornell's Institute for Women and Work at the New York State School of Industrial and Labor Relations.
About 300 women gathered to hear Tannen's presentation, "Talking From 9 to 5: Women's and Men's Communication Styles at Work," which suggested that women's conversation style may be a factor in why they often are overlooked for promotions and why women in some organizations are singled out as not being team players.
In her presentation, based on research from her new book, Talking 9 to 5: How Women's and Men's Conversation Styles Affect Who Gets Heard, Who Gets Credit, and What Gets Done at Work (Avon Book, 1995), Tannen said communication styles are ritualized in the sexes by the way boys and girls communicate with their same-sex playmates. Girls are fearful of being labeled bossy, which might result in being left out in future play, while boys are constantly bragging and giving orders.
"A boy's idea about how to have fun is how to beat the competition," Tannen said. "They don't take it literally. It's a game to top each other."
Tannen's research identifies two important ways gender-based differences in childhood play translate into workplace issues.
First, childhood play becomes part of a ritualized gender-based communication style (which the user is often unaware of) that causes frequent misunderstandings or misevaluations of people who are operating with a different style. Second, workplace norms were developed before women entered the workplace in large numbers, creating an environment that is "more congenial to men than women," Tannen said.
Communication style differences frequently lead to women being evaluated as less competent than men. When questioned about why more women weren't hired or promoted, male managers used statements about women lacking confidence, Tannen said.
One behavior that may be seen by others as a lack of confidence is the indirect way women give orders, she said.
"Women use all kinds of ways of telling people what to do without giving a direct order. A woman might say, 'I would do it this way' or 'Is there any way you can get that done today, so we can send it out tomorrow?'"
To enable men and women to communicate more effectively, Tannen recommends educating people about the dynamics of conversational style over suggesting that individuals adjust their way of speaking. She believes the most important skill managers can glean from her research is to become aware of conversation differences, which may lead to more employees being heard and evaluated more equitably.